"Are you going to wear those shoes?" "That colour is not in style right now." "I don't want to wear that if everyone else is not wearing that." "I don't want to look funny." Now all of us have had these thoughts and been asked these questions from one time or another. We get ready to go somewhere and we look at our clothes and determine how people may view us if we wear a certain piece of clothing or have our hair a certain way. Do you usually ask yourself these questions before dressing up or doing your hair, or buying shoes, clothes or any piece of clothing? What will others think? Does this match? Is this in fashion right now? Do these colours coordinate for this particular season? I have asked myself these questions many times before and I am sure you have as well.
Society today has created an idea of what colours "should" be worn in a certain season, or what colour coordinates with what or what hair colour you "should" have in a particular season or with a particular outfit. "You should wear light colours for summer and dark colours for fall and winter." "If you colour your hair, colour it lighter for the summer and darker for the winter." We are so bombarded with messages on how we "should" look like. This allows us to hide our true uniqueness. We determine what we want to buy and put on our bodies by what we think is socially acceptable or not acceptable. We steer away from expressing our uniqueness for fear of rejection and judgement. We have been taught that we need to look like everyone else and that we will be looked down upon because we have not conformed to societal norms. By needing to conform to societal norms, we don't allow our uniqueness to shine and come forth. When we conform to societal norms, we allow our fear to take over and lead the way. When we conform to norms, we give our internal power to other people. Have you ever wanted to wear something so badly because it made you feel good, but didn't because you were told it looked "funny" or made you look a certain way. I certainly have. I have, on many occasions, put aside what I wanted to wear or how I wanted to look because of fear of rejection from people. This is a form of self rejection. It is a rejection of your uniqueness and it is preventing yourself from showing up in the world authentically.
We haven't been taught to express ourselves just as we are. We haven't been taught to do what makes us feel more alive and confident. We haven't been taught to choose based on what we want, but we have been taught to choose based on people's opinions and expectations. We live life following what we have learned we should or should not do, that we forget about what we really want. We will go to the mall asking people's opinions about how something looks on us. I have asked stopping people's opinions for a while now. It has come to the point where other's opinions doesn't matter any more and I decide what I want to wear and how I look based on what makes me feel good and what resonates with my own sense of style. Every once in a while I will catch myself worrying about other's opinions. However, I refocus my attention to what I really want as apposed to what others may think of my appearance.
The world would be a boring place if everyone looked the same. I am sure you have passed someone that totally looked outside of what is considered a "normal" way of dressing. I love seeing these people because they are fearless and show up to the world just as they are. They wear what they want and appear how they want. You can't harm anyone by appearing the way you enjoy. If people don't like how you look, they simply can look the other way. PERIOD. So I dare you to take a step each day to show up just as you are. Wear what you want, style your hair how you want, wear the purse you want or the shoes you want. Now in certain places, there are dress codes such as work places and understandably you may not be able to wear certain clothes there, however you have the freedom to choose to wear clothes that you feel comfortable in and clothes that you love. Wear the colours you love. Who cares what season it is. Who cares what colour your hair is in the winter. Just step up and stand out. I dare you to stand out. This may feel very scary and uncomfortable at first, however once you do this continually, it will become easier to choose what you want as appose to choosing based on societal expectations and norms. Everyone's uniqueness is perfect just as it is. There is no wrong way or right way to dress. When you begin to express your uniqueness, it will naturally liberate other's to do the same. That is what I call a leader. So lead the way.
Below is a link to one woman's brief story about how she broke free from the expectations of how a woman should dress and started to follow her heart.