We live in a word where we are constantly bombarded with advertisments on the latest technology, pressured to have things, to live life a certain way, look a certain way, attend post secondary school, the list goes on and on. We are told that if we have a certain product, or that relationship, or degree, that it will provide us some sort of fulfillment and make our emotional turmoil go away. There is such a constant pressure to attain things that are external in order to achieve emotional satisfaction and well being. We live in a materialistic world where we look outside of ourselves to make ourselves feel good. We have become so emotionally attached to material things that those things begin to define our perception of who we are or who we are not. When we attach ourselves to anything that is external, there is a high chance of losing that thing because anything that is external is fluid and ever changing and can be removed out of our lives in a split second. It can be our appearance, our home, our partner, a career that we worked so hard in school to attain a degree for. We attach our identity to something that we have. For example, a woman is now questioning her sense of worth and ability to be loved by another because her partner had an affair and left her. A person who loses their liscence to practice medicine or any other profession is now questioning who they are without their career. Someone who has suffered severe fire burns to their body is now questioning their worthiness and ability to be loved by another person because all their life they have attached their good looks to being accepted and attractive to other people.When we attach ourselves to external factors, we are setting ourselves up for heartache and great amount of emotional turmoil. We attach ourselves to things in hopes it will provide us, love, fullfilment, confirmation that we are enough, stability, and a hope to avoid feeling the feelings that are painful to us.
One of the ways we can find fulfillment is to internally recognize that we are enough just as we are, regardless of our outer circumstances. There is nothing in the world that can provide us love, stability, and fullfilment. Happiness, stability, joy and contentment comes only from within us no matter how our life looks like. We are notorious for wanting to be in our comfort zone and remain there. So much that we are so afraid of the unknown and loosing control. There is nothing in the world that is ever stable. Stability is a state of Being, and has nothing to do with anything external. People reach to get that career at an organization that is "stable", or want that partner that appears to fill the void that we feel within in hopes that we feel better about ourselves. The truth is, any organization can be wiped away in any moment of time. A partner can pass away at any moment. This is the way life is. Life is unpredictable.
The ways in which we can attain stability and contentment without reaching for outside sources is to go within. It is beneficial to look at our strengths, abilities, our resiliency, our triumphs, and continually acknowledge and praise ourselves. SItting in silence, listening to our breath each day helps this process. When we allow ourselves a couple minutes each day where we just simply breath and hear our breath, it allows us to become more aware of ourselves, our behaviour, actions, intentions, motivations and so on. It also allows you to become more aware of the things you already have in every moment. Recognizing your accomplishments and achievements each day helps you see your worthiness. When we start to recognize our own uniqueness and grow in self worth and see the many things that we already have in our lives, we tend to reach out less towards material things for hopes that it will make us feel better. We will start to recognize that we are ok just as we are, regardless of how our life plays out. Our sense of emotionally stability is determined by our measure to look within ourselves and meet ourselves with compassion, and not determined by what happens in our outer world. Your inner stability can never be taken away, shattered or stolen. You have 100% control over it, you are the driver of it.